5 Senses Friday

Touch.

Cream makeup being applied to a little boy's face to make him the perfect Halloween mime.

Frozen hands (ice cubes made inside rubber gloves for spooky punch.)


Taste.

Broccoli rabe and sausage pizza.

Pumpkin spice latte.

Dark chocolate and coconut.


Smell.

Burning pumpkin.

A cinnamon candle.

A dog that needs a bath.


See.

Michael Jackson. Billy Mays. Joe Paterno. Mario. Luigi. Ghosts. Ghouls. Witches. A whoopie cushion. A couple of Santas. Bumblebees. Ladybugs. Butterflies. The Jersey Devil. 17 skeletons. A mime. A little old lady.

Modern Family, best new show on television. Makes me laugh really really hard.


Sound.

C at lunch today after he let out a huge belch: "Excuse me, excuse me. I had to say it twice 'cause I farted, too!"

Screams.

Silence.

Poetry in Process

The laws of physics say
a molecule is a stable system
a bound state.
In this moment
I am the reactive species
split in two,
unstable.
I can feel
the electrons,
the nuclei,
the colliding atoms within me.
Short-lived assemblies
swirling in a transition state,
bending
wavering
like a sea of salt water
large and yawning--
full at once to breaking.

five Senses Friday

Taste:

A half-and-half; half Stella Artois, half Guinness in a pint glass.

Fresh-cut Belgian fries with roasted red pepper aioli.

Nutella on graham crackers.

Yogi Lemon Ginger tea. (especially 'cause I like each little tea-bag message)


Touch:

C's little 8-year-old hand rubbing my back as I lay on the couch fighting this virus.

A few good hugs from Kim when she (all-too-briefly) came to visit yesterday.

A warm wool scarf, lent to me by a good friend, around my neck as I stood outside of school all afternoon.


See:

A "field" of pumpkins for the kids at school to "pick" today.

The photos of Julia Margaret Cameron, which NEVER cease to amaze and inspire me.


Smell:

Vick VapoRub for my aching chest.

That unmistakable earthy scent of fall leaves (see sound also).


Sound:

Storytellers weaving their magic last night here.

The fall leaves crunching under my shoes.

A turkey and stuffing potpie for dinner tonight from this awesome shoppe.

This song on REPEAT in my car these days.

Silence

I finally took a moment to photograph my work from Squam today, and as I did it suddenly struck me as funny that this is what came out of my Translucent Layers class with Judy "the genius" Wise. The class was amazing--painting, collage, encaustics; new techniques mixed with old--really exciting and fun. I didn't think so much about what I was making, only that I was soaking up all these new ideas to take home and try on my own.

But now, when I take time to sit back and look at the actual results, it leaves me sort of speechless. Not because it's this great work of art. It's not. But because completely subconsciously I managed to tell something about myself through my artwork. Jen Lemen wrote a list on her blog back in January detailing What 100 Paintings Will Teach You. #16 said: “Your paintings know things about you that you don’t know yet about yourself.” And it’s true. I realized I am that girl in my painting. I am afraid to speak my truth. I am silenced by my own fears and doubts. I am always afraid I won't be loved, that I'll be rejected and hurt and left alone with my failures and frailties. So more often than not, I choose silence over sharing myself. I hide all the scary, ugly parts for fear someone will see the real me and be disappointed.

Silence has served me well during my lifetime. It protected me as a young girl from some truly difficult and terrible moments. It had a purpose. But I’ve come to learn that it is okay to tell silence to take a hike. It is okay to thank silence for doing a good job cocooning my heart, but to please move on now. It’s high time truth and authenticity have their moment in the sun. No matter how awful it feels—how hard my heart may pound and my hands will shake. It’s time to forgive myself for holding on so tight and let go.

Even here on this blog. It’s time to let go. Translucent layers indeed.

Didja know?

Did you know that I am a packrat and like to create things out of discarded items?
Did you know that I write poetry?
Did you know I seem outgoing but in reality I’m shy and insecure and it takes me a long time to make good friends?
Did you know I’d rather be on the beach than doing almost anything else?
Did you know I am a klutz and have no rhythm but I love to dance?
Did you know I know the words to hundreds of songs and sing out loud all the time?
Did you know I love to go on road trips and my dream would be to drive across country in an RV and land wherever I land every day?
Did you know I desperately want to learn to speak fluent Italian and would live in Italy if I could?
Did you know I am stronger than I look?
Did you know I have hated being skinny my whole life and I rarely like what I see in the mirror?
Did you know I have a semi-photographic memory, which helps me to be way more organized than my scattered personality would naturally allow?
Did you know I love the movies and have gone to the theater alone many times just because I want to see something that no one else wants to see?
Did you know I don’t think I’m a very good or patient mom?
Did you know I can be incredibly selfish?
Did you know I wish I had gone to art school?
Did you know I lived in Ireland when I was in college and still think it might be the bravest thing I’ve ever done (outside of giving birth!)?
Did you know that my feet are my favorite part of my body?
Did you know I am afraid of snakes?
Did you know I am sure that the next 40 years will be better than the first 40 because older and wiser is better?
Did you know I like to laugh more than almost anything else?
Did you know I stole this idea from GummieSpazz?


dancing like the spaz that I am!

Five for Friday

1. Listening to this song. Picked up a free download card at Starbucks on Tuesday and this little gem was the song of the week. Love these boys!

2. Coveting this bag and putting it up high on my Christmas list.

3. Reading this and this and reveling in her beautiful words. She is profound and real. I get her.

4. Planning to go to NYC for this with this girl because she makes me laugh really hard and I want to hang with her, plus Jen Lee turned us on to it and so it must be amazing, right??

5. Eating this AGAIN. Because it is healthy and delicious and I can't. stop. eating. it.