Happy New Year! It's hard to believe it's 2009 already. I have been such a blogging slacker. For all my good intentions, I just can't seem to make it stick. I've had this problem with every journal I've ever started, too. I go at it full throttle for a few weeks (or days!) and then I just let go. I thought my time at Squam would change all that. I thought I was this whole new person who would do everything right and be creative all the time and embrace this blogging thing and make it work. WRONG! I'm still the same me. I'm lazy and unmotivated half the time, wasting tons of time doing nothing; I've barely been creative except for that small spurt in December with my jewelry show; I've let myself down and somehow feel I've let other people down. And then, to top it all off, I let all these negative feelings creep in, which makes it even harder to sit down and finish what I've started. This has been a problem my whole life and I really want to change.
How do I do it?
I need to be more diligent about setting goals for myself and carving out time for specific tasks. I need to decide on a time of day to sit with my blog and write, if that is important to me. I need to make special times each week for being creative, taking out my art supplies and actually USING them! I need to allow myself a quiet space to just relax and enjoy the process, rather than stressing over it. And I need to realize that it's not the end of the world if all of this doesn't happen in the perfect way I have visualized in my head. I need to be more open to "failure" and be more gentle with myself when I feel disappointed. I need to see that it's okay if I don't write my blog for almost a month. It's just mine, not necessarily intended for anyone else.
It's okay. Any way it happens. Any time it happens. It's okay.