Tuesday, January 6, 2009

A New Year and a Resolution

Happy New Year! It's hard to believe it's 2009 already. I have been such a blogging slacker. For all my good intentions, I just can't seem to make it stick. I've had this problem with every journal I've ever started, too. I go at it full throttle for a few weeks (or days!) and then I just let go. I thought my time at Squam would change all that. I thought I was this whole new person who would do everything right and be creative all the time and embrace this blogging thing and make it work. WRONG! I'm still the same me. I'm lazy and unmotivated half the time, wasting tons of time doing nothing; I've barely been creative except for that small spurt in December with my jewelry show; I've let myself down and somehow feel I've let other people down. And then, to top it all off, I let all these negative feelings creep in, which makes it even harder to sit down and finish what I've started. This has been a problem my whole life and I really want to change.

How do I do it?

I need to be more diligent about setting goals for myself and carving out time for specific tasks. I need to decide on a time of day to sit with my blog and write, if that is important to me. I need to make special times each week for being creative, taking out my art supplies and actually USING them! I need to allow myself a quiet space to just relax and enjoy the process, rather than stressing over it. And I need to realize that it's not the end of the world if all of this doesn't happen in the perfect way I have visualized in my head. I need to be more open to "failure" and be more gentle with myself when I feel disappointed. I need to see that it's okay if I don't write my blog for almost a month. It's just mine, not necessarily intended for anyone else.

It's okay. Any way it happens. Any time it happens. It's okay.

I'm okay.


Elizabeth said...

you are SO okay-- it is a true challenge to find our own rhythms and develop routines that support us-- sigh, pass me a bowl of chips, will ya'?

BIG hugs to you!!!!

bisous, bluepoppy

Amy said...

Oh, sweetie....

It IS ok. Be gentle with yourself and the expectations you put on yourself. You are right, none of us can do everything perfectly all of the time. You are wonderful and creative and kind and amazing NO MATTER WHAT!

kristen said...

i so get this. you should see the pile of art supplies, the projects that are waiting for me.

it's nice to know we're not alone!

emily said...

oh, sweet pea...thank you for sharing these thoughts! i'm in a similar place, it seems. you are more than okay - you are wonderful! just the way you are.

jenica said...

it is ok darling.
write when you feel the urge.
click pics when you feel prompted.
and drop a line on facebook when you want/need to.
it's all good baby.