Monday, September 22, 2008

a brand new day

Okay, so here goes. I have been reading and reading and reading other blogs and today is the day I've decided to create my own. I don't know how often I'll post, or how well I can write, or how weird it will feel; but it doesn't matter. I'm just gonna go for it. Sink or swim--I don't care. I just want to connect and share and this seems like a damn good way to do it.

So in order to keep from getting to freaked out by this blogging thing: I'll post my post-SQUAMmy feelings that I shared on Elizabeth's blog as my first entry (since it's already out there is cyber-world, how scary can it be, right?):

"What I really wanted to say is that I didn't head up to SQUAM entirely for the art . . . but I really wanted to force myself to do something I'd never, ever done before, to cause a shift. And wow, the shift has been of SEISMIC proportions, like really, a tsunami of shifting. I came home a better mother, daughter, sister, wife, lover (oh yes, I said it, LOVER), friend--just a better me. I feel my heart is bursting and my head is spinning and everyone can see it. The checkout girl at ShopRite can see it, the mailman can see it, the man walking his dog past my house right now can see it. It's immense and epic and life-affirming. . . . thank you for helping me to create that shift. I'll be riding the wave, no SURFING it, hanging 10 dammit! for the rest of my life."

And I, like so many others whose blogs I've read the past few days, have had trouble with the transition back in to "reality". It is a challenge to find your way back from that kind of love and support and downright goodness 24/7, but I'll keep searching for ways to be creative and to ride my wave. And I know they'll be searching with me. And that feels good.

7 comments:

jenica said...

love it.
love it.
LOVE it!

so glad you're here, you're a great writer. the point is to get out those feelings (and make connections along the way).

i'm feeling the same way, my UPS man can see it too! ;-D i feel more myself and more vibrant and more happy than i've felt in forever. so glad we've got one another through this ride. it's been fantastic with a capital fantastic!!!

xoXOxo

Steph said...

OMG Jenica ... LOL!

And Amy, ROOMIE, woohoo!!! I'm so happy to see your new blog, welcome to the blogosphere! I love your inaugural post. So powerful. I look forward to reading more.

Miss you,
xo

Jennifer said...

OH Amy so glad to see you taking this bold step. It was such a pleasure meeting you and driving up to SQUAM with you. I am still trying to process all my feelings, savor them, and understand what is going on inside me. It was wonderful to not feel so alone. Thank you for being so brave to put it out there to drive with strangers....and thank you for being so wonderful and kind to my little heart. I need your address...please send it to me. I miss you and hope we stay in touch! I hope all is well with your family and I look forward to what you will be sharing with all of us here who love and support you.

blushing bird said...

yippee skippee, you're here! so glad to read about your wonderful SHIFT. and yes, i did receive my package...and thank you SO much for the surprise gift! i absolutely adore it! you're a gem :) i'll e-mail you soon...

xo
emily

Amy said...

YAY! the other Amy is up on her own blog!

Well, you have one loyal reader, with a capital LOYAL!

Kirsten Michelle said...

hmmmmm, i'd say you're off to a wonderful start!
welcome to the land of the lovelies ;-)

Blue said...

oh Amy-- this week has been really tough and today hasn't been much better due to just normal, flat-out hitting the ground. I haven't yet regained my equilibrium, but reading this-- YOUR post-- wow, all I can say is this was just what I needed today. I love knowing you had this experience, I love knowing Squam came back with you into your life and is supporting you there--

love it-- SO glad you have a blog!!

bisous, Elizabeth