Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Happy Anniversary

Today is my parents' anniversary and my friends Cathi and Adam's anniversary. They were married on the same day, 40 years apart. At Cathi and Adam's wedding, a friend of theirs read this piece, which made everyone laugh and also made us all think.

Loving the Wrong Person: A Reading from the Book of Daily Afflictions, by Andrew Boyd

"We are all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow into your own wrongness. It isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems––the ones that make you truly who you are––that you’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person––someone you lovingly gaze upon and think “This is the problem I want to have.”

I loved this reading so much. It wasn't typical at all; but if you know Cathi and Adam, it fit them perfectly. It wasn't mushy and gushy. It wasn't all about love and baby's breath and cherubs. It was real.

Love isn't easy. It takes a lot of work to be committed to another person for any length of time, let alone a lifetime. My parents have done it for 42 years.

They were young when they got married. They didn't necessarily do a lot of living before they chose a mate. But it has lasted. And I'm sure in all those years they have been frustrated and angry and ready to chuck things at each other and walk away, but they didn't. And whether they realize it or not, they took Andrew's words to heart. They stayed because they realized that this is the problem they chose to have. So happy anniversary, Mom and Dad and Cathi and Adam. Keep up the good work loving the "wrong" person!


blushing bird said...

what an interesting perspective! i love how it puts a positive spin on wrongness. and happy anniversary to your parents and friends!

Steph said...

This is great! Happy Anniversary to your parents & friends too!